Pastor Andrew: "Hey Rob, how ya going with the fitness?"
Captain Courage: "I'm a rock star...I can swim all the way to the end of the pool AND back, without crying and grabbing onto that slinky thingy between the lanes...oh ya!
Andrew: Fantastic, lets go for a kite!
CC: Sweet, tri and bicep workout! I'll stop at the toy store.
Andrew: Not kite-flying, Beave, kite-surfing.
CC: Uh, does this involve being in the actual ocean, with the sharks
Andrew: Not at first, we'll start in the river...
CC: Is it connected to the ocean?
Andrew: Meet me there at 3pm. We'll begin with "body-dragging"
CC: Perfect...
For those of you without a death wish (like El Capitan here) kite surfing is essentially connecting oneself via a very robust and uncomfortable harness (think chastity belt fabricated by Eastern Mountain Sports) to a 12 meter parafoil kite. The kite has an inflatable leading edge and four very powerful lines which virtually guarantee that if you don't have some rudimentary sailing experience you will end up in the Canary Islands before it decides to come down. Also, since the kite is designed for 30 knot winds and guys up to 250 lbs, you can imagine what it will do with a guy who weighs roughly as much as a 9th grade cheerleader.
So far, I have only mastered yanking my entire body around in very shallow water and scraping my knees...which really hurt and I needed neosporin. But I have to say that even that part was awesome...
I'm hoping that my next lesson will involve the board....you know, so I have something shiny to drag underwater and attract sharks.
More next time....and yes, my instructor really is the Pastor of our church...hopefully the shepherd will come after the lost sheep, especially if I wind up in Antarctica.
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