(Cruel Aussie called Bernie) Hey Mate, since you're new here, what say we head up to the pool at lunch time for a few laps? Heated pool, wakeless, hardly anyone there...whaddya say?
(Naive Yank called Robbie) Um, sure....(can't really swim, but when in foreign countries, I always try to impress people clearly more fit than me).
(Cruel Aussie): Oh, by the way, its a 49 meter pool, ya-know, because if it were 1 meter longer, they'd have to let the public in (and have a lifeguard, that might save your skinny neck when you inevitably begin to gag on super-brominated water)
(Naive Yank): Uh, how far is a meter?
(Cruel Aussie): Don't sweat it mate...no worries...she'll be right (blah, blah)
I'll spare you the details on the rest, but the only good part is that the pool was heated, which made it a nice place to float on my back after two laps, while I frantically sucked air into my screaming lungs, and then crawled across 4 lanes, the wrong way, (including one occupied by some grandmother with a mask and snorkel who'd already swum 47 laps)...and climbed up the kiddie ladder to safety!
Rule number # when it comes to Aussie Fitness: Don't swim with them!
